Already a month back from the ‘Camino De Santiago’. It’s not that easy to keep the “camino” feeling back home. Or maybe I should say, It’s not easy to stay with al my plans and dreams I had on the camino. To keep the faith and trust to realize my dreams even if they are not crystal clear. I had a strong faith in it a month ago. But today the glance of it disappeared. The faith is still there, but a little dusty. Why? is what I ask myself today. I know I did it myself. I know, it’s only me who is responsible for that.
Of course I can say, It’s because of al those people ask me over and over again if I have a job already as a physical therapist, where I’m going to live, and comments like: ‘We all have to work, just do what we all do’ or ‘you can still have your freedom if you choose for that job.’ It’s true.
And just that makes me doubting. It’s not the people who ask me logical questions. NO, It’s ME starting to lose the faith in myself. It’s ME feeling those questions as a pressure. I talked about it with my sister and she hold up a mirror.
This is what they said: “Every week you pop up some ideas, talk about it with us and others.. full of energy and inspiration and then you are waiting. You don’t act on it. You don’t take the fist steps. Okay, you take one little step. But then you start analyzing. Is it good enough? Am I to idealistic? And all the energy is gone. And you start with another plan you have and the same thing happens. You always want to do things perfect. If it’s not perfect, you stop. You think to much! You are afraid to make mistakes. What is actually weird, because you are always the one who follows your intuition what leads you to the most value lessons and amazing experiences. Do I have to remember you that you learn from mistakes and that you grow if you make them? You can not start something without making them and do everything “perfect”. So get off your ass, and start ACTING! Take steps and don’t stop if something not goes the way you wanted. Keep the faith and don’t be afraid to fail. Make mistakes and move on!! Who believes in you if you don’t even believe in yourself?”
Just that. BAM. I had nothing to say.. because they were so absolutely right… Thank you beautiful sister for this reflection and inspiration.
I just got off my ass and took the first steps. Soon more about it…